A man knows...

...when he's up against it.

I was in a car accident right before Christmas. Not severe, but the impact caused me some discomfort of the chest, so I was taken to the hospital.

Now I have a problem with my heart. I have no idea what the future holds. It's more electrical than functional, so I'm probably going to be having to watch it vs. getting a procedure for it.

I have a pretty good doctor, so I think I am in good hands.

I have to try and keeps things in perspective. So far it hasn't caused me to discontinue what I like to do. However, I have to lose more weight (I'm down 40, but I need to lose at least another 20).

Clark

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone!

It's been a few weeks since I last blogged. Sorry about that. Life has been pretty much a whirlwind since early December.

My oldest has been pulled over three times in the past two weeks by the local police. She's been driving the truck and doing a pretty good job, but the cops decided she needed to: do a better job of stopping at stop signs, make sure that she is doing her best to wear her safety belt, and to make sure her lights were on when driving at night. Fortunately, she received no tickets for these minor mishaps. The lesson was learned however. Still, she managed to bump into the back of a car just enough to dent the truck bumper, but not damage the other car. Weird.

Speaking of the truck, I spent three days trying to find two tires for it. Why so long you ask? Well, I purchased two tires back in September because the truck needed it. Why not four, Clark? Well, my pockets haven't been very deep lately, so I opted for two then and would pick up two more later. Well, the same tire shop, the local Super Wal Mart, was consulted on the latest tire purchase as they were the shop who did the tires in September. They have very good tire prices. However, this time I spoke with three different people who told me that the tires I purchased in September were suddenly not available there. I must order them from Wal Mart online. No problem, I said. Being Intertube savvy, I went to the site and tried to place my order. Tried. You see, the website said the matching tires were out of stock! I went back to the shop and explained my predicament and they said they would call around and get back to me the next day. The next day comes around and I get no phone call. Frustrated and concerned I would have to buy two other tires or FOUR new tires (that wasn't going to happen), I called and spoke with the assistant store manager. In five minutes he was able to determine that indeed the store did have the tires I was looking for (In fact, they had 8 of them). I was perturbed and happy all at once. Why didn't they bother to look in their inventory three days ago? The assistant manager was nice enough to discount some of the services to save me about 30 bucks overall.

I found out in December that I have diabetes. Not the really bad kind, but the kind that comes at you when you are too fat. I have to diet and exercise now. Blah. I have to give up tons of good stuff to eat and take meds. It was hard, but I'm doing OK. I've lost a little weight and have tried to step up my exercise. Since leaving my last job I've lost about 20 lbs. I think 15 of that came from having much less stress in my work life.

I've been working hard, but not too crazily. I am running around, but it's a good thing. My work stress level is near zero. I am working with nice folks who care for a change.

Christmas was pretty cool. It seemed to come and go pretty fast. The kids had a great time, too.

Clark

Happy Holiday!

Hi folks, it's your old pal Clark again.

I hope everyone had a nice Christmas (or Hannukah...or Festivus...or whatever you do this time of year) and a safe New Year. This Christmas was just OK. Money was way tight, so we really had to cut way back on presents. Still, the kids had a blast.

I got the worst flu I've ever had the weekend after Christmas. I honestly thought I was having some awful headaches. My heart was racing, I was wicked hot or cold, depending upon my fever. I begged Ellen to take me to the doctor, but she kept telling me they wouldn't really do anything for me. So I suffered. I had horrible things coming out of both ends of my body. The worst of it was coming out the back end...if you know what I mean. I was sick for about a week. I couldn't stray far from a toilet for 5 days. Even after that, my digestion was affected for about another week after that. I really couldn't eat anything with any substance. I ate a lot of soup and pasta and drank a ton of water and soda. Ellen said she had never seen me so sick (I don't get sick much).

I did manage to wean myself off of diet soda while sick (and without the withdrawals too!) I was drinking so much water that there wasn't room for soda. Your ol' pal Clark used to drink 4 or 5 diet cola a day. That's a lot of caffeine. Now I drink (on the average) 1 diet cola a day. I drink tea or water the rest of the time and indulge on decaf diet sodas (not colas) the rest of the time. I've also gone back to making fruit smoothies and drinking juices. Not sure if this is going to lead to any kind of long term benefit, but I think I'm the better for it.

Clark

Easter Bunny!

The annual arrival of the Easter Bunny to the Grizzwold home was preceded by the female Grizzwolds (except for the dog) returning from a short spring break trip to the beach after an all night drive. My wife Ellen Grizzwold endorses "5 Hour Energy" as a method of keeping the shiny side of the SUV up at all times during the 8 hour road rager.

As a result of Ellen and the girls tripping in the warmth of the beach, this left yours truly in charge of the Easter Bunny purchases. I consulted over the phone with my lovely Mrs. and got a pretty good idea of what to get. The local CVS Drug Store chain was the one-stop choice for easter basket grass (three colors), chocolate eggs (2 kinds), miniature chocolate bars, peanut butter cups, jellybeans, lollypops, peeps, and a giant hollow rabbit for each Grizzwold child. In addition, the oldest received some books and an iTunes card, the middle got a digital toy camera, and the youngest got fairy princess shoes and a wand. It's almost like Christmas in April!! Since the Mrs. and the children napped most of the day, your boy Clark was pretty tired and headed off to the rack after the late local news.

About 6am, a sharp elbow woke me up. Evidently, I forgot to assemble the easter baskets! Holy hollow bunnies! I didn't even know I was supposed to assemble them! Sleepily, I went down to the super secret location, loaded up the baskets, and staggered back to bed, nearly running over the middle daughter in the process. I had evidently awakened her with my staggeringly sleepy footwork. Darling Ellen headed the 10 year old off at the pass and ran her back to bed before she broke for the goodies. I plopped back into the rack and resumed my slumber.

Most of the rest of the day was uneventful, save for the bizarre shenanigans of the dog, who seemed to be extra needy (the dog ate my candy! Exclaimed the two-year old…probably the reason for the dog’s weird behavior). We cooked breakfast, had an early dinner at Grandma Grizzwold’s house, and returned home to baths and bedtime. My dear Ellen told me that forever more I would be banned from making the easter purchases. I was shocked, to say the least. Since we’d discussed things over the phone, I thought I had a pretty good list. Not enough variety was the retort from my dearest Ellen. Nonsense, I replied. I’d bought at least 5 different kinds of chocolate, 2 different kinds of non-chocolate candy, and peeps which are in a category of confection all their own (the Clark Grizzwold “gross” category). The hollow bunnies were too short, she informed. I guess I should have purchased the two foot tall hollow bunny instead of the 18 inch hollow bunny. There will be months of therapy behind that lost 6 inches of bunny ear. I kept reminding my betrothed that we discussed the purchases over the phone several times and there was ample opportunity for “variety” and “hollow bunny size”. You should have known what I meant, came the reply. Easy Clark, I thought, you’re in the “no win zone”. I put it in neutral and settled in for a good nite’s sleep agreeing not to be involved in the easter purchases next year.

Clark

Independence Day '06

I figured I would share our most recent adventure before I delve into the dark depths of past adventures.

It was hot! Headed into the mid-90s for sure with potential for wicked T-storms. Still, we relished the fact that we didn't have any major chores to do around the house. So we puttered here and there until the Mrs. decided we needed a swim!

Mind you, being a Grizzwold means that you have stuff, but not the greatest stuff. We have "Caviar dreams with a Spam wallet", so to speak. So me and the Mrs decided to jump into the 18' Entex pool (you know, the one that you blow up, then fill up?) and sun and fun for a bit.

Of course, since we are the Grizzwolds, immediately upon jumping into the pool, the sun is obscured by clouds. Undaunted, we figure a good cloud tan is in order. I take to sweeping the pool of grass and dead bug carcasses while the Mrs. splays herself upon a pool float. Being an 18' above the ground pool means that when anyone is laying on a pool float, only about half the pool is left for others. Therefore, I had to work around the Mrs while she got her cloud tan.

Time marches on and so do the clouds and we managed to escape the T-storms, for about half an hour when the next wave rolls in. This time, the rain pushed us back into the Manse du Grizzwold. Because we expect it, the Mrs. and I were undaunted still. Our plan continued toward the 6pm hour when we were going to the local public park for food, music, and fireworks.

The Mrs. invite her friend and their family to come join us. While the Mrs. and I have an average amount of individual friends, each of our friends family's come with the obtuse and bizarre. This particular friend has a husband who, while working in the same profession as I, can't carry a conversation past a few sentences unless he's bombed. I was pleasantly surprised to be able to carry on at least two conversations with him in the space of ten minutes that were completely coherent and relatable! He must have been blitzed! In addition to their kids, who are kind of bizarre in their own way (one is a teen the other a pre-teen...I mean who wears long sleeve shirts and blue jeans on a 90 plus degree day? the pre-teen), there is the sister of my Mrs. friend.

This particular woman is a lesbian and suffers from a "debilitating disease". Now, we're tolerant Grizzwold's and welcome all types and shapes and sizes into our home and lives. In this particular case, the sister has the fashion sense of....well....just about any French designer. Today, she was having her "blue period" and I'm NOT referring to any biological function. She was decked out...head to feet....in shades of blue. Atop her noggin was a shiny, royal blue "do-rag". She had on a blue hawaiian shirt with a surfing theme, also in accented royal blue. She had on very baggy pants whose material was not identifiable to me, but was just as shiny and just as royal blue as the "do-rag". Fortunately, she had the sense to leave her blue suede shoes at home. Instead, she wore bright white leather hitop sneakers! To accent her "Royal Blueness" she decided that bright red lipstick and blue eyeshadow were apropo! I shook my head. I wondered when this particular genie was going back into her bottle. But we are Grizzwolds, so we soldiered on to the event.

The weather had cooled, so we didn't roast too badly, but the sister was looking a bit rumpled in all of her blueness. We got some oddball looks, but we're used to that since we were also toting my three girls (14, 9, and almost 2) and their friends and all their crap along with us. But we were in it for the relaxation and the atmosphere, so we plopped down in our camp chairs and enjoyed the band and the food and the bottled water. We positioned ourselves so as to be close to the exit to avoid losing anyone in the melee after the show and far enough away from the bands to hold on to what was left of our hearing. The bands played their last songs and the soundtrack to the fireworks started.

I stared up into the sky forward of my position expecting to see the brightly colored explosions. That's where they were the last time, I thought. Where the heck are they this time? Out of the corner of my right eye I could see them. Quickly, and with all the coordination of a rugby scrum, the entire Grizzwold entourage reseated themselves "right face" from their initial position. I flopped into my seat and looked up...into a tree! Out of all the spaces we could have picked, our optimum viewing angle was interrupted by those things Al Gore savors! TREEEEEEEES! I could only really see half of the show. I watched for a few moments, craning my neck over the cooler to see if I could get a better view. Natch! The Mrs. had taken her seat behind me with the baby, so I moved from my seat and picked up the spare and moved to the more romantic location. I plopped into the seat and was immediately cooled by spilled lemonade. So now, not only could I still only see half the show, but my butt was wet! I smiled and echoed several lines of "Tree" (a la Rick Moranis from "The Bear") to keep my Mrs. in stitches and only half enjoyed the fireworks. :)

Remember, we are the Grizzwolds.