The annual arrival of the Easter Bunny to the Grizzwold home was preceded by the female Grizzwolds (except for the dog) returning from a short spring break trip to the beach after an all night drive. My wife Ellen Grizzwold endorses "5 Hour Energy" as a method of keeping the shiny side of the SUV up at all times during the 8 hour road rager.
As a result of Ellen and the girls tripping in the warmth of the beach, this left yours truly in charge of the Easter Bunny purchases. I consulted over the phone with my lovely Mrs. and got a pretty good idea of what to get. The local CVS Drug Store chain was the one-stop choice for easter basket grass (three colors), chocolate eggs (2 kinds), miniature chocolate bars, peanut butter cups, jellybeans, lollypops, peeps, and a giant hollow rabbit for each Grizzwold child. In addition, the oldest received some books and an iTunes card, the middle got a digital toy camera, and the youngest got fairy princess shoes and a wand. It's almost like Christmas in April!! Since the Mrs. and the children napped most of the day, your boy Clark was pretty tired and headed off to the rack after the late local news.
About 6am, a sharp elbow woke me up. Evidently, I forgot to assemble the easter baskets! Holy hollow bunnies! I didn't even know I was supposed to assemble them! Sleepily, I went down to the super secret location, loaded up the baskets, and staggered back to bed, nearly running over the middle daughter in the process. I had evidently awakened her with my staggeringly sleepy footwork. Darling Ellen headed the 10 year old off at the pass and ran her back to bed before she broke for the goodies. I plopped back into the rack and resumed my slumber.
Most of the rest of the day was uneventful, save for the bizarre shenanigans of the dog, who seemed to be extra needy (the dog ate my candy! Exclaimed the two-year old…probably the reason for the dog’s weird behavior). We cooked breakfast, had an early dinner at Grandma Grizzwold’s house, and returned home to baths and bedtime. My dear Ellen told me that forever more I would be banned from making the easter purchases. I was shocked, to say the least. Since we’d discussed things over the phone, I thought I had a pretty good list. Not enough variety was the retort from my dearest Ellen. Nonsense, I replied. I’d bought at least 5 different kinds of chocolate, 2 different kinds of non-chocolate candy, and peeps which are in a category of confection all their own (the Clark Grizzwold “gross” category). The hollow bunnies were too short, she informed. I guess I should have purchased the two foot tall hollow bunny instead of the 18 inch hollow bunny. There will be months of therapy behind that lost 6 inches of bunny ear. I kept reminding my betrothed that we discussed the purchases over the phone several times and there was ample opportunity for “variety” and “hollow bunny size”. You should have known what I meant, came the reply. Easy Clark, I thought, you’re in the “no win zone”. I put it in neutral and settled in for a good nite’s sleep agreeing not to be involved in the easter purchases next year.