Thursday, March 22, 2007


If you’ve read my profile, you’ll note that my wife and I were blessed with three children, all girls, who are now 14, 10, and 2 (yes, ol’ Clark failed family planning). The two oldest are very active athletes and love girls softball. The fastpitch variety. The oldest plays both tournament and varsity high school ball. The middle one is currently playing recreational league games, but wants to be just like her sister. Even the two year old likes to participate with her plastic bat and ball. Your ol’ pal Clark has even been their coach off and on over the years. Over that time, I’ve learned a lot about kids and how to get them to perform. I’m no expert, but I’ve learned a few things along the way. OK, OK…I know….get to the point, Clark!

My oldest’s varsity coach is a very disturbing coach. Her idea of discipline is screaming and running. I’m not talking about the kind of screaming that is just an increase of volume coming out of one’s mouth. I’m talking the brow-beating, beat down, self esteem crushing kind of screaming. The kind of screaming that makes you wince, even if you aren’t the target of the screamer. In her eyes, discipline means you must dislike me, but respect me. How can you respect someone when they are constantly screaming at you for following directions correctly?

Case in point, my oldest was benched for the first two innings of last night’s ball game. The coach, Ms. Screammette, decided that she would put my oldest in to play in the middle of the game, the 3rd inning, in Right Field. She told her this after announcing the starting lineup. In the bottom of the second inning, my oldest was sent by the coach to warm up her arm (it was a cold night). Five minutes later, Coach Screammette comes out of the dugout screaming at her “What are you doing? You’re on deck!” Flustered, my oldest ran in to bat, unprepared mentally and physically, striking out in the process. When the teams switched places for the start of 3rd inning, my oldest ran out to the outfield. Coach Screammette yelled, “What are you doing? You’re supposed to be at first base!"

We are the Grizzwolds, we come to expect this kind of "challenge".

I think you get the picture.


Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Once a Grizzwold, always a Grizzwold

Remember the post for our Honorary Grizzwold member (I'm sure you remember, it's right below this post!! HA!). Well, they are REALLY having a tough time this week:

Fourth problem today - We have a staff meeting and [Boss Name] (yes, he's still my boss) says to the whole team "I don't know if this is an [Name] problem or a PWA problem, but [Name] has no time logged at all this year and even late last year." Again, pointed out of the crowd. ugh. :(

If [Boss] weren't my boss, I'd be in BIG trouble for all of this negative exposure. Any other boss would be in my face pointing a finger saying 'no no no'!

[He] has got to be tired of me this week. I'M tired of ME this week!

Wear it as a badge of honor!


Honorary Grizzwold

I share this with you as I feel this ranks right up there with some of the misadventures of ol' Clark:

First, someone up in the [Home] office called my boss to ask why I [Name] is always hitting another co-worker's myspace page. I'm like "what???" I don't even know this girl and she's accusing me of hitting her myspace page all the time. I have never been to her myspace page; didn't even know one existed. Anyhow, my boss said "even if you are, so what; it's a public page on the internet." I'm like "but I'm not, I don't even know her. They've got it wrong and have the wrong person. Besides, there is a [Company] myspace group, so it could be anyone." He's not upset or anything, but, man! The seed is planted, you know? I'm peeved about it.

Second, my boss rarely comes to my cubicle. Twice today he has come to my cubicle and I've been eating both times. He says, "how come whenever I come here, you're eating?" How embarrassing, huh? It's not like I eat all the time; only when he comes to my cubicle.

Third, my boss comes to my cubicle and asks how often I fill out my time on our time tracking system. I said, "well, not as often as you'd like, I'm bad about that, but I do it." He asked when was the last time. I said probably up to mid-February. He said that he has no time for me since December. We checked all my time on the tracking system and, sure enough, all my time is zero going back to 11/18/06. Now, I know I have filled it in until at least the end of January, and possibly mid-February. But, definitely filled it in passed 11/18/06. Again, I look like I'm slacking. But, I'm not! My time is missing and it looks bad.

Gosh, I've had a really really bad week. Everytime my boss turns around, my name is in his face. Not good.

Welcome to the family!!



If it were anyone else in this position, I'd have to say to them that their run of bad luck would be over soon. However, being a Grizzwold, we just shrug and move on.

Remember the car accident I had on the way to a job interview? Well, I finally got to the interview last week. I'd been diligent in reviewing the company website, learning about their environment, their contracts, and other stuff. I'd asked for a comprehensive job requirements letter, but the recruiter was unable to secure it. Even so, they said that ol' Clark was a perfect candidate for the job!

Fast forward to the job interview. After the handshaking and introductions were over, the interviewer looked at my paperwork like he'd never seen it before. He asked me two very general questions and then shook his head and told me that he wasn't sure why I was here. Evidently, the recruiter had it all wrong and that I wasn't qualified for the position at ALL!

Yours truly put on his magnanimous hat and apologized for wasting the interviewer's time, shook his hand, and left the building. Time spent: two hours drive, about 3 dollars in tolls, a couple gallons of gas, an opportunity cost of missing a school meeting for my oldest daughter, and my own time. Not to mention the damage to the Grizzwold family cruiser.

PS - I conversed over the phone with the recruiter that night and he was apologetic, but confused as to how they could have misread the position that badly. They promised to get back to me, but I have yet to hear from them. That's probably a good thing because I would probably have given them what for, like I did for my boss in "Christmas Vacation" when I thought I wasn't getting a bonus that year.


Tuesday, March 13, 2007

What can I say?

Being Clark Grizzwold I expect things to happen and shake my head when they do.

Case in point: I was driving to a very important job interview when I was rear ended by a "spatially challenged" driver in an econobox. Since your ol' pal Clark was driving the family SUV, guess who was the winner in the collision? Fortunately for Clark, he was wearing his seat belt.

I'd worked hard to get this interview, scheduling and rescheduling so as to not draw attention to myself at my current job. Hopefully, the prospective employer will understand.


Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Mama Grizzwold gives birth!


As you might have guessed, Mama Grizzwold had an operation last week and brought something into the outside world...her gall bladder! Yes, after several years of suffering (us Grizzwolds do that well), she had a horrible attack that put her into the ER. This isn't the first time this has happened, but the circumstances surrounding her visit this time sent her to the OR to have it removed. Everything went well and she was sent home after almost 24 hours in the hospital.

Thankfully, we Grizzwolds are a sturdy people. Mama Grizzwold is back in the pink and caring for the little Grizzwolds!