In this fine year of political missteps, mistakes, and misogyny here is an open letter to all of the candidates:
Thank you, O political candidated for your continued ads on television, radio, road signs, billboards, cell phones, bumpers, and junk mail.
Thank you for your continued obfuscation of the facts, details, information, and opinions.
Thank you for your stump speeches in small towns that: block traffic for hours keeping regular folks from going to/coming from work; providing opportunities for people to park on strangers lawns, walk on strangers lawns, drop trash on strangers lawns, park in front of strangers houses; give opportunities for the people best known for tin foil hats to protest on bucolic streets, haranguing locals into voting for their "fringe" candidate; provide opportunities for the media to troll neighborhoods for unsuspecting nincompoops to give ignorant sound bites to equally ignorant and plastic "reporters".
Thank for your incessant phone calls during dinner to ask if I am going to vote for the candidate on their script.
Thank you for "Change", "Straight Talk", gaffes, "improbable history", "ACORN", "Keating Five", Annenberg, POW, African Press International, Main Stream Media, blogs, polls, Ayers/Wright/Fleeger/Resko, Bush, "present", 90% for Bush, and "Sarahcuda".
Thank you for debates that weren't, moderators that didn't, and shameless plugs for books yet written.
Thank you for "nice" campaigns that called one candidate a "marxist" and made fun of the other candidates age by indicating that they could possibly wear adult diapers.